Writing a Eulogy

If you are asked to give a eulogy at someone’s funeral, it’s an honor – even if your fear of writing or public speaking makes it seem like a curse. If you’re convinced you can’t write, or that you would never be able to put the right words on paper for a proper eulogy, we’ve got some tips and advice to get your through.

Anyone Can Write a Eulogy

There are no hard and fast rules about what must go into a eulogy. The appropriateness of a eulogy depends on the deceased, the funeral venue and the audience. Your job is to simply share stories and honor a loved one – you get to choose how you want to do that when you write the eulogy.

A Eulogy is Not a Biography

 

Don’t feel the need to recap the deceased’s entire life. Everyone at the funeral is there because they knew him, so it’s not necessary to give a play-by-play of his time on earth. This is a time to share stories that show your loved one’s true character and heart, express what you will miss about him and show support for his closest family members.

 

10 Tips for Writing a Eulogy

Sometimes starting a eulogy is the hardest part. Here are 10 tips to get the feelings and words flowing:

  1. Brainstorm – think of how you met or became close with your deceased loved one.
  2. Think of your top 3 favorite moments with your loved one – and a little humor is always appreciated.
  3. Ask yourself what your loved one cared about the most, and why.
  4. Make a list of what you admired most about the deceased.
  5. Make a list of what you will miss the most about him.
  6. Be honest – don’t paint a sparkling picture that never existed.
  7. Be brief and keep the eulogy to fewer than 10 minutes, or even as short as 5 minutes. It doesn’t sound like a long period of time, but when you are giving a eulogy to a crowd, it is plenty of time to convey your feelings.
  8. Interview family members to gain insights you might not otherwise have had to include in your eulogy.
  9. Once you have your notes, make an outline, and start filling in the gaps – before you know it, the eulogy will be finished.
  10. Make a copy to give to someone else in case you are overcome with emotion and cannot finish the eulogy.

Eulogies Have Kind Audiences

If you are afraid of public speaking – as most people are – remember that, when giving a eulogy, you’ll have a very kind audience. It’s an emotional day for everyone, and they will appreciate your effort, even if you’re not the best public speaker or writer. As long as you speak from your heart, you can’t go wrong.